


You're the One (or, P is for Pervert)

by tres_mechante



Category: Sesame Street (TV)
Genre: Exhibitionism, M/M, Masturbation, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-31
Updated: 2011-05-31
Packaged: 2017-12-10 10:50:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/785224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tres_mechante/pseuds/tres_mechante
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's just another night at Bert and Ernie's place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're the One (or, P is for Pervert)

**Author's Note:**

> **Warnings:** voyeurism, exhibitionism, inappropriate use of a bar of soap and a rubber duck, general perversion of beloved children's tv characters
> 
> Originally written for 2011 MMoM challenge. Reposting to gather some of these little bits into the same archive.

"That was a _great_ movie huh Bert?" said Ernie excitedly.

Bert snorted at that. "Yeah, great if you like ducks. What kind of name is Howard anyway? I mean, who names a duck _Howard_?" 

Bert didn't like any shows with ducks but for some reason Ernie loved them. 

Ernie continued squirming around in his chair, obviously hopped up on chocolates and soda. He really should have stuck with popcorn like Bert had suggested. 

Regular bouncy happy cheerful Ernie was distracting enough but Ernie with a buzz... "Hey buddy, why don't you take a nice hot relaxing bath? Then we can have a nice glass of warm milk before bed."

"Sure Bert, I can do that. I'll probably never get to sleep otherwise, huh?"

"Right. And if you don't sleep you'll just keep me up all night with your tossing and turning."

"Oh I would want to do that, Bert'" said Ernie. "Hey do you want some help cleaning up?"

"That's okay. You go ahead and take your bath; I can do this." When Ernie was almost out of the room Bert called out, "Hey Ernie? Thanks for offering." His friend wasn't lazy; he just didn't always think about the cleaning up after the fun.

"I'd do anything for you Bert, anything. You know that right?"

"Oh sure I know that. Same here."

Ernie gave him one of those big goofy grins and ran off toward the bedroom shouting, "Guess what Ducky? We're taking a bath and it's not even Saturday!"

"Again with the duck," sighed Bert, mystified at Ernie's obsession with ducks. Now pigeons on the other hand, he could understand. 

He listened to the sound of Ernie moving around while he got ready for his bath. Every so often there'd murmured conversations with Rubber Ducky, but never quite loud enough that Bert could hear what was being said... or if Ducky actually answered.

The water in the bathroom stopped running and there was a small sploosh – Ducky hitting the water – followed by a larger splash – Ernie jumping into the tub. Bert carefully tiptoed down the hall. When he got there he found the door ajar. Usually he had to make do with listening to the sounds inside, but thanks to the door not being closed properly, he could see the tub reflected in the bathroom mirror.

Bert almost laughed out loud. Ernie had given himself a bath foam beard and was busily covering Rubber Ducky in foam as well. "You're a very dirty little ducky," said Ernie, his voice low and just a little bit rough. "I'm going to have to wash you _everywhere_."

Bert watched as his roomie began scrubbing Rubber Ducky, being sure to get into _every_ nook and cranny. When Ernie rubbed enthusiastically under Ducky's tail, Bert started to squirm. His pants started getting tighter in a painfully good way. 

"You're getting to be a big duck, so you should learn how to do this yourself," said Ernie, setting his bath buddy on the edge of the tub. "Oops, dropped the soap." He leaned up and stretched over the rim of the tub to reach the soap on the floor.

Bert admired the way Ernie's fuzzy bottom swayed as he stretched far enough to snag the soap. The tight feeling in his pants was joined by a tingly feeling in his belly.

"Got ya!"

Bert jumped in surprise at the shout and bumped the door. However, Ernie just plopped back in the water and started giving Ducky a lesson on how to properly clean himself. Bert shuddered at the expression on Ernie's face when the bar of soap disappeared into the water under the bubbles. 

Oh, yeah, Ernie must be doing a real good job with the soap. He eyes were closed and he had that really goofy expression on his face that he always got when he slid down the banister at the library. The sight made Bert's mouth go dry. "Work it, baby, work it" he whispered as Ernie began to twitch.

Suddenly Ernie gasped and disappeared under the water. Before Bert could panic and rush in to save him, Ernie surfaced again, coughing and laughing and telling Ducky that he should probably remember to hold on to something when he's washing under his tail feathers.

Since bath time seemed to be over, Bert quickly and quietly went to their room to put on his pyjamas. He had to take a couple of minutes to rub himself enough to make the swelling in his pants shrink enough to not make a big tent in his pyjama bottoms. Finally dressed in his pyjamas and robe, he went back out to the kitchen to warm the milk.

The bathroom was empty when he walked by and as usual there was a mess on the floor around the bathtub. He sighed and went in, grabbing a towel to mop up. While he was down on his hands and knees, he heard a sound behind him. He glanced back and saw Ernie standing there, staring at Bert's bottom.

Without stopping what he was doing, he said, "You should take a picture; it'll last longer."

"You should take your own advice, Bert," said Ernie. "And me and Ducky already got lots of pictures."

Bert reared up and spun around on his knees. "You what?"

But Ernie was already gone, and Bert could hear him laughing all the way to the kitchen.

He shook his head and finished cleaning up. Some days he wanted to spank his roommate but something told him that might actually encourage naughty behavior instead of stopping it.

 

**\---end---**  
~~~~~~~~~~ ~ ~~~~~~~~~~

**Author's Note:**

> I have no explanation for this...


End file.
